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Getting at the truth [ATTN CHRISTIAN]
#11
Kyler Caulfield-Brooks

PU 1 | Cunning 1 | Honor 1 | Purity 1 | Common Sense 1 | Flaw: Anxiety Disorder, paranoia

"I was able to interrupt one of her attacks and then got away quickly...surprising her a touch at where I ended up."

Kyler furrowed his brow at the question about Marcus, not in anger but in frustration and worry. Marcus's secret was already out with more people than Ky was comfortable with. He worried about his Mate and revealing it to even more people just didn't seem like a good idea...no matter who they were.

"He got into the fray a bit. He got hurt, but he's fine now," he replied after a pause. He answered, still dancing around the actual answer, but he wanted Christian to drop it. "Can we not talk about my Mate please?"
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#12
Christian Fitzgerald

Presence 3 | Ambidextrous | Direction Sense | Fading | Trained Observer 1 | Primal Urge 3 | Cunning 3, Honor 2, Purity 2

"Ah, nice.  Don't know that one myself but I'm familiar with it."

Christian's eyebrow arched a touch at the almost defensive tone Kyler took up, watching him for a moment before nodding.  "Alright.  What do you feel like you learned from that fight?"
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#13
Kyler Caulfield-Brooks

PU 1 | Cunning 1 | Honor 1 | Purity 1 | Common Sense 1 | Flaw: Anxiety Disorder, paranoia

"What did I learn..." he said with a loud sigh.

What had her learned, really? He'd talked through what happened enough at this point...both with Marcus and also with his father. The elder Caulfield had asked similar questions, but his answers at that time were very much influenced by the emotions that ran high for the days and weeks following that day.

If he was being honest, the events of that day had replayed over and over in his mind at first. It was a little better now, but his worst fears still ran rampant in his nightmares. He was dealing with it though and he hoped...no, he knew it would get better in time. Ky was OK. More importantly, Marcus was OK. The things he feared didn't happen. He was able to mostly find solace in that.

"I'm not a great fighter..." he said, his voice trailing off quickly. That wasn't really what Christian meant, and Ky knew it.

"I learned that I am more capable than I think I am..."

He did learn that. He still questioned himself, honestly. But he also told himself, over and over, that he had protected his Mate. This time.

He likely wouldn't have been able to do that without Marcus that day...and he knew Marcus wouldn't always be there. He knew he still had much to learn...a long way to grow.
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#14
Christian Fitzgerald

Presence 3 | Ambidextrous | Direction Sense | Fading | Trained Observer 1 | Primal Urge 3 | Cunning 3, Honor 2, Purity 2

Christian gave Kyler a brief "come on..." look at that first disparaging comment, but nodded as the younger Irakka continued.  "Good.  What mistakes did you make during the fight that you know better than to do now?"
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#15
Kyler Caulfield-Brooks

PU 1 | Cunning 1 | Honor 1 | Purity 1 | Common Sense 1 | Flaw: Anxiety Disorder, paranoia

Christian's question gave him pause. The fight was like a blur. Thinking back on it, as he had done over and over, it was hard to really know what happened from second to second. There were points that stood out...like the moment Marcus shifted - but he couldn't tell Christian about that. Not to mention, what did he learn there? What about that does he know not to do again?

"I was scared of her. I think she could see that in me," he said after a long pause, pausing again as he thought about this particular point. "I hope I can learn to reign in my fear in times like that. I mean, I don't expect to ever not be afraid.  I think, maybe, my fear helps drive me..."

Many would probably not agree, since it was also his fears and paranoia that drove him to basically become a shut-in.

"But, at the same time, I think that kinda worked to my advantage. My fear made her more confident. Maybe it made her more likely to make mistakes...mistakes that very well could have been why I was able to beat her in the end."

He paused again, quiet as he tried to think through the fight once again.

"I dunno, really. It isn't that I didn't come out of it with thoughts of where I could've been better, but that's the thing - I think I could've just been...better somehow. If I'd been better, maybe I wouldn't have been nearly killed. Marcus wouldn't have been hurt. I just needed to be...better."

But the thing was...the fight itself did tell him something. He wasn't a fighter. Maybe he would never be a strong fighter. While he certainly had aggressive tendencies - especially where protecting the things...the people he considered to be his - fighting was not his strong suit. The reasons for that came from a lot of places...he didn't want to be a fighter. Sure, he wanted to know he could if he had to, but he didn't want to be that.

What did he want? Well...that was a damn good question.
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#16
Christian Fitzgerald

Presence 3 | Ambidextrous | Direction Sense | Fading | Trained Observer 1 | Primal Urge 3 | Cunning 3, Honor 2, Purity 2

Christian remained quiet at Kyler spoke, letting the young Irakka get his thoughts out there uninterrupted.  It was good to see him reflecting on the matter in a beneficial way, and it helped the Menina to get where his mind was going.

"How would you define 'better' in that case?  No fight is ever perfect, even for someone who's been at this for a while."
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#17
Kyler Caulfield-Brooks

PU 1 | Cunning 1 | Honor 1 | Purity 1 | Common Sense 1 | Flaw: Anxiety Disorder, paranoia

He sighed. Kyler didn't want to just give some random answer. He wanted to really dig deep and give...the right answer. No. That wasn't right. There was no wrong or right answer here. But there was a right answer for him.

"It wasn't that it wasn't a perfect fight, Christian. I got lucky. That's all there was to it."

Luck. And Marcus.

"Don't get my wrong. I still feel better about...I don't know. About me, I guess? But it doesn't change the fact that I can't count on getting lucky all the time."
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#18
Christian Fitzgerald

Presence 3 | Ambidextrous | Direction Sense | Fading | Trained Observer 1 | Primal Urge 3 | Cunning 3, Honor 2, Purity 2

"True.  I mainly ask because if you know what 'better' means to you in this case that's something we can work on improving.  Is it having more confidence in your own abilities, that sort of thing."
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#19
Kyler Caulfield-Brooks

PU 1 | Cunning 1 | Honor 1 | Purity 1 | Common Sense 1 | Flaw: Anxiety Disorder, paranoia

Kyler pursed his lips as he thought about what Christian was asking, and he was quiet. No answer came from the Irraka for a good few minutes. Truth be told, he had been thinking about this very thing. He'd been trying to sort out his feelings about all of it.

When he finally spoke again, he leaned forward in his chair.

"Confidence is probably a big part of it. I mean, we both know I'm not so great in that department. But, and maybe this boils down to confidence too - I don't know - but I wasted so much time being afraid and fighting what I am. I don't have the skills really, because I rejected all of it for too long."

He leaned back in his chair again and folded his hands together in his lap.

"I still struggle with my wolf, not gonna lie. And I struggle with myself to try to get past that. Because, when it boils down to the most simple factor...protecting what's mine means everything to me."
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#20
Christian Fitzgerald

Presence 3 | Ambidextrous | Direction Sense | Fading | Trained Observer 1 | Primal Urge 3 | Cunning 3, Honor 2, Purity 2

Marcus Caulfield-Brooks

Tell: Horse, Piercing Eyes | Presence 3 | Crafts 3 (Tattoos) | Danger Sense | Kamduis-Ur's Blood | Patient | Professional Training (Artist) 1 | Raised by Wolves | Tolerance for Biology | Honor 1, Purity 1 | Synergy 2

The silence lingered as Kyler thought, with Christian calmly watching all the while.  He nodded quietly when he finally spoke, smiling a touch at the last note Kyler made.  "Wanting to learn those skills now rather than just feeling like you have to is the important part there.  You know what you can do, you know where you need to improve, and as long as you stick with it you'll get there.  How fast you get there isn't as important as getting there in general."

Almost on cue, the talk of Kyler protecting what was his seemed to conveniently summon the man in question, the Bound dressed neatly as he tended to be when at the tattoo parlor.  "Hey Ky..."  The greeting faded midway through hanging his messenger bag on the rack near the door, a look of pleasant surprise on his face as he spotted Christian there.  "Good seeing you."

"You too."  Christian replied, giving the other man a proper once-over.  "Been talking with Kyler about what happened up north.  How've you been holding up?"

That earned a brief pause and an unsure look towards his mate, something of a 'how much have you said already?' cast to his features before looking back to the elder Irakka.  "Doing good.  The scar's healed at this point, so just getting back into the swing of things."
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